Honest Liar

A Woodcutter Loses his Axe (Kulhaadi) & Lord Offers him Both Gold & Silver
but He takes his Own Axe & Seeing his Honesty Lord gives him All 3.

One day he goes Again 2 Forest with his Wife. Bt his Wife Falls into d River, he Cries n Pleads 2 d Lord 2 give him his Wife.

Lord brings Out Angelina Jolie & Asked 'Is this ur Wife'
He Replied - Yes.!

Lord said 'U Lied n u r gona b Punished'

He Said 'wait Lord I Lied bcoz if I had Said No, u Would have taken out Cameron Diaz. 

If Then I said no, u Would have taken Out My Wife n Seeing my Honesty, U Wud hve Given me All 3.

Bt I m a Poor Man, I Can't keep All 3. So I said Yes to Angelina.




 
God: rulayega kya pagle...ja le ja isse...

(you will make me cry, go go, take this one with you)

Santa and Banta were playing chess!

Santa and Banta were playing chess (joke doesn't end here).:D

Santa: Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak raha hai.

Banta: Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda.:O  :p
The joke doesn't end here either..:D

Phir waha Vishy aata hai.

Vishy: Chalo Santa-Banta, chess khelate hai.

Santa-Banta: Nahi, aap to hume aasani se hara doge.

Vishy: Chalo yaar. Tum dono aur me akela.

S-B: Phir bhi hum haar jayenge

Vishy: Okay, mai left hand se khelunga.

S-B: Haan. Phir thik hai.:p

The joke still doesn't end...:D

Dono obviously haar jate hai aur Vishy chala jata hai.

Santa: Badi sharmanaak baat hai, yaar.

Left hand se bhi hara diya usne.

Banta: Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.

Santa: Kaise?

Banta: Saala lefty hi hoga...:)

Seven complicated facts about Women

1. They believe in saving.

2. Still they go out & buy expensive clothes.

3. Always buy expensive clothes but never have anything 2 wear.

4. Never have anything 2 wear, but always dressed beautifully.

5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.

6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.

7. Expect men to compliment, but don't believe them if complemented.
Extremely Complicated